Felicia

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 23:52:14 GMT

Well it's nice to find out that after being pretty ill all term, at least 5 of my housemates have been talking about me behind my back, calling me a hypochondriac among other things. These were people I considered friends. Not cool. Not an environment I care to live in for the next few months.

Sat, 10 May 2008 04:21:20 GMT

So freaking exhausted and ill . . .my allergies are making my throat swell. I thought that being done was supposed to be fun, not exhausting. Ah well, there will be plenty more nights to celebrate :-)

At least I don't need to pack up my room yet

Thu, 08 May 2008 23:56:59 GMT

My undergraduate career is done . . . wow. It's strange being at Smith having nothing to do and knowing that I never will again here. Weird.

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:40:22 GMT

Can we have primal scream now??! Please!

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:21:58 GMT

My thesis is done! It's 65 pages long, which is average for the English department. But it is done! Woot! I'm going out on Sat to celebrate, let me know if you want to join!

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:27:23 GMT

Tonight was fun. I went out to Packards with a bunch of Seniors in the house. I really like the Wilson seniors, they are very friendly. It was a good night. It was nice to be asked along.

At times when I feel let down, I find that there are plenty of other people out there who are supportive. I received a gift in the mail today from a friend who graduated in 06 ,whose dad died around the time that my Mom died. It was really sweet of her to remember me. She wrote on the card that she knew not having my mother at graduation would be hard for me and that she wished that it was a good day despite that. I also received random gifts of appreciation from my advisor and my boss this week. It is nice to feel not so alone.

The next few weeks are going to be hard for me. The anniversary of my mom's birthday is in a week and graduation, one of her last wishes before she died was to see me graduate from college, is also coming up.

Don't tell me "I don't have real problems to deal with" cause I do. Yes, I'm in grad school and I have a summer job, and honestly those have been the things that keep me going, but that doesn't mean that this time of year isn't a struggle for me too. One reason why I'm happy to leave this place is because I can leave the painful associations of my mom dieing and the depression that followed it my first year with Smith. I don't have to return to another fall where I am constantly reminded of the painful events of my first year.

I'm glad that I am blessed with many friends who are supportive and do not dismiss me as "petty."

senioritus ramblings

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:48:32 GMT

Thesis is due next monday! AHHHHH!
55 days . . . .until I'm out of here! yay!
                      I will be free of single-sex education for the first time in 8 years! woot
                     I can actually have the time to pleasure read again!
                      I can go home and cuddle with zorro
                      I leave my lovely smithies
                    (I'm trying not to dwell on that part cause I know I will dash across the country to see my favorites . . .maybe I'll bring back more
                     kittens!)

A little under 3 months until I go to the UK!

Senioritus is driving me crazy, but oh well.

I'm 99.9% sure I will be at the University of Durham next year. I'm very excited about it! I got in everywhere, but Oxford. Skarda made me feel like a failure yesterday for not getting into Oxford, but I'm not going to let her get me down. I'm happy. It's a great school. Durham looks like a mix between Edinburgh and Oxford. And Bill Bryson, the comic travel writer is Chancellor.

My college at Durham, St. Chad's has this hilarious day called St. Chad's day (how original): "St Chad's Day begins before sunrise with a noisy wake-up call, designed not just to wake up students, but neighbours as well. A pre-breakfast Pimm's Reception leads on to college invasions and then to a green breakfast. Students wear green clothes and body paint to their lectures and seminars, gathering at noon for a run around Palace Green, accompanied by the college's goat. The day ends with a Feast or a dance." (wikipedia)

I'm really excited about the Oxford program this summer. My boss has been wonderful. She left a box of cookies and chocolate on my desk with a card saying how proud of me she is for getting into grad school. :-)
It's nice to know that nearly everyone is supportive.

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:49:56 GMT

So, now that I'm in grad school and only need a 3.4 to keep my offer, do I really need to finish my thesisor my other work for that matter? It's ever so much more fun to research supermarket locations in Durham. I've also started looking for possible job options for after next year. Bah thesis . . . why do I have to finish you?

Soo this is what Senioritus feels like!

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:25:34 GMT

What an amazing day.
1. I went skating for the first time in 6 yrs and it was amazing. I used to skate competitively, but then I got really sick with the endometriosis and my coach was a jerk about it, so I never went back. I finally did today with my new skates and I did really well. Nothing fancy really, but I did a lot of stroking and edge work. It was so nice.

2. I got into Durham! Durham is the #1 English program in the UK according to the Times. It even beats out Oxford, which is #2. And it looks oh so wonderful. I even got my first choice, St. Chads, for a college. Durham, like Oxford, is divided into colleges. Squeee! :-)

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:04:09 GMT

I feel like I'm dating the Smith English department and it is a mighty strange relationship. Off to dinner with Skarda.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:43:47 GMT

Life has been pretty good. I like Smith, but I'm ready to be done. I will miss my friends, but I feel like I'm outgrowing this place. "I feel" like I've finally figured out what Smith English professors are looking for. Skarda is very impressed with how much I've improved. So is prof Seelig apparently, she read one of my papers aloud the other day in class. It was kind of awkward, but nice, at the same time.

I'm starting to miss England like crazy. Last Spring was one of the most amazing times of my life. The experiences, the people, everything. I'm ready to go back. I feel like I just belong there and am waiting to go home. I went to the bulb show today, and while the flowers were pretty, it reminded me of England in the spring with the wild daffodils and tulips everywhere. There's something magical about England in the spring. Less than four months!

Pros and Cons

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:35:00 GMT

Cons: I caught some version of the Smith plague that is going around and have been very sick since friday. I'm starting to wonder if I'm getting
              menopause because I am having hot flashes and night sweats. ew.

Pros: I must have looked so ill in class today that Sharon Seelig neglected to pick on me as per ususal.
          I went to look at my official transcript and noticed that my cum gpa was up by .02, then I realized
             that Skarda had recently entered an A as my first semester grade for my thesis
                  --> Last semester was my highest gpa at smith ever

           I submitted my remaining grad school aps on Thursday and I recieved notification for Leeds today that they recieved it. Which means
           with rolling admissions I will know sooner. I have restored faith in the US postal service

          One of my friends from my first summer at Oxford will likely be studying as a grad student on the program

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 02:46:46 GMT

I nominated Skarda for the Rally Day faculty teaching award and she won. She knows that I did it, because she has revealed her suspiscions twice, and I casually shrugged them off each time saying "maybe" or "possibly." I'm glad she won it. She is such an amazing woman who has helped me get through so much. I couldn't stop clapping when her name was called. I had no idea that she would win.

Ready to be done vent

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 04:08:07 GMT

i must say that I am ready to pop the Smith bubble. I'm ready to go to grad school and be surrounded by mature people. I'm sick of the shrieking down the hallways at all hours, the pot smokers who don't have a clue how to mask the smell, the drunk first-years and upper-classmen who drink so much that they vomit, and people who don't clean up after themselves in common areas. I'm also sick of Smithies coming to class when they are too ill to function and spreading their germs, especially now that there is a serious outbreak of the flu on campus. Get me out. Oh and I'm also sick of the unhealthy Smith food.

3 months until graduation.
4 months and a week until I'm in the U.K.

Oxford Summer Seminar Reunion

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 06:00:28 GMT

Well that was fun and awkward at the same time. It might have been more fun if I wasn't feeling dizzy and out of it from my drug meds. But it was strange. People weren't as friendly as they used to be. The Smithies were, but idk it was strange. I also wasn't feeling very social. One girl from my summer came up to me and introduced herself which was kind of strange. It's weird that people would have forgotton me. I mean even if you forget my name, forgeting my existance on the program? That kind of put a damper on the evening. It was fun, but I spent most of the time with the smithies. I felt too out of it to mingle with others much. It also made me miss the people who weren't there. A lot of my friends who did the program have graduated and are no longer in the area. I might go out with some of the Oxford kids tomorrow night. I'm not sure. It could be awkward again and I don't really feel like going by myself.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:51:45 GMT

54 pages later . . . I am done with the first draft of my thesis! Now, do I really have to start homework for my new classes? It seems like first semester never ended.

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:43:44 GMT

I am in love with my advisor, but then again what else is new?
She just took me out to a lovely dinner, and she has a $50 bottle of champagne waiting for when my first chapter is finished. :-)

I am not, however, in love with reslife training 9-5 Weds--Friday == Eww

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 05:49:26 GMT

Not mucht to update on, so I'm not sure why I am
I just want my thesis to be done and my grad school aps to be in.
Aside from that, life is good. My cat is adorable and I actually like being at Smith.
But I do miss England. Applying to grad schools over there is making me feel nostalgic.

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:18:05 GMT

Are any of you other thesis writers out there lacking motivation? I'm returning to Smith tomorrow in hopes that I will find some there, away from the brand new 40in lcd with on demand that has sucked up all of my time . . .

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 05:03:53 GMT

Maybe I'm bitter about having nothing to do on new year's eve, but doesn't new years just seem like an arbitrary day?

Just a thought . . .

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 15:57:07 GMT

Mediation with crazy kitchen lady was cancelled! Wooohoo! This gives me more time to edit my Milton paper! And after this paper is done, I have my Milton exam to study for and take, and then I'm done! . . . well minus the thesis, but we (and by we I mean I) are not thinking about that!

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 19:23:49 GMT

I used to love the month before christmas . . .the carols, the movies, the hot chocolate. But every year smith just ruins it. The carols and movies and yultide cheer are replaced with a deluge of papers and exams that could have very easily been spread throughout the semester. This year I only have one final which means complete and utter crazyness the week before exams. I used to envy people that got their stuff out of the way this week, but now I realize that it is just more painful.

It has been an interesting day. I woke up after having a nightmare about the GRE in which I failed the English section and failed the Math. Then I got up and attempted to pack my bag for class, but proceeded to wipe out the top shelf's contents of my bookshelf. Then I went to Milton where the professor announced that our papers were due Wednesday. He had told me during reading period when I asked him two weeks ago, so I flipped out and sent him an email, and thankfully he gave me an extension. There's no way that I can write my seminar paper and take my Geology exam and write another paper by Thursday. Just the seminar paper revision and research is going to take forever.

Now I'm off to meet with Skarda. . . I don't know why. I didn't really do anything for my thesis. I told her I probably wouldn't have time to do anything, and she said to try to set aside an hour a day. You'd think she'd be ok with my not doing anything because she told me that in 26 years of advising, she thinks that I am of all of her advisees, in the best shape to go into Jterm

Edit: met with Skarda, talked about various non-thesis related things, she asked me if I would get anything done for next week, i said that was doubtful, she said to drop by anyways and chat and drink tea.

Oh man, crazy day. All i want to do is sleep and never write another paper . . .unfortunately, i have 2 to work on and jterm is devoted to a rather large paper . . .groan

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 23:05:23 GMT

Good news: I got an A- on my Milton paper, which is pretty stellar b/c that's hard to do in the eng dept, bill oram is a hard prof, and it's um Milton. Skarda thought my pathetic attempt at a thesis chapter was good.

Bad news: Skarda saw my really crappy grade from RH and made me feel like a disappointment just before I left my advising appointment. . . Tear
1. This is the exam that I did poorly on b/c i apparently didn't write enough . . . although I wrote the same amount for all of my exams, and did fine on the others. aka I got penalized for my small handwriting.
2. My score was a lower second which isn't bad, it's still a respectable grade, but the conversion that arcadia used makes it look a lot worse than it is.

Felicia the law-breaker

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 15:39:56 GMT

So I'm still a little pissed off about what happened last night. Here's what happened:
I went to Lamont to eat dinner with my Lamont friends who I have been horribly neglecting. At 6:30, one of the kitchen workers came by and said something to the extent of "for the love of God girls, bring you dishes up to be washed." We ignored her because a. she was being rude and b. it was only 6:30, dinner ends at 7. We had every right to remain sitting there, dirty dishes or none. And who was she to tell us when we were done eatting? Then at around 6:40ish she comes back and yells at us, telling us that by not bringing our dishes up we were telling her off and "sassing her." We stare at her like she is insane, and then she demands our onecards. I gave her my one card. What can she do to me? I wasn't breaking any rules. I have every right to have my dishes in front of me until dinner ends. When she came back with our onecards and continued to yell at us. I calmly told her that I was a member of reslife and I planned to talk to my AC about the incident to which she replied she didn't care.

I sent my AC and email about the incident and plan to file a complaint about this woman. She has absolutely no right to treat me and others as delinquents when we didn't do anything wrong. And seriously what is she going to do with my onecard number? Write a community report that gets sent to the AC? If anything, she will get in trouble for her uncalled for behavior.

an edit to my last entry

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 04:00:10 GMT

Poking people virtually and in real life isn't so mature . . . I'll need to work on that.